Thursday, September 18, 2008

Diamond Light Forehead Beam Application


I knew I'd paid too much for this soft cell injection kit but it was my last fucking hope. I screwed the headband down tight until it hurt and I could feel the blood getting trapped in the veins in my temples and pumping underneath the metal strip. I could feel each individual vein and they were screaming let me go. My vision got blurry as I positioned the guide to the spot above and between my blood shot eyes. I loaded the cell and searched for the on switch as my knees buckled. It was time, now. I smacked the switch down with my hand , hard enough to feel it dig painfully into my palm, then the flash blasted me and my kneecaps cracked as they struck the dirty concrete floor.

I woke up looking at pigeons flying over me . They seemed to flinch as they passed through the projection of laser light, but that couldn't be I'm the only one that can see it. I rolled onto my side and removed the headband. There were spots of blood on my pants where little bits of broken glass had dug into my poor kneecaps, not broken but they ought to be. I stood up and looked around, time to try this shit out.

The instructions were written in Mongolian engrish but clear enough to anyone familiar with illegal neural software. I could access the menus by staring at the point the laser projection landed on a surface then slowly close my right eye and hold the left wide open for 10 seconds until the cursor appeared. Then I could open the right and see the menus super imposed on the already superimposed laser image. I scanned them quickly and just upped the energy allocation levels to maximum, I could tweak the rest later.

With the diamond light appearing to increase as my energy returned I moved to a window grabbed an old table swept it off and looked out the old torpedo factory window towards the Potomac. Assuming the lotus position I cast the beam out and across the river towards the heavens. Instant and total mental clarity was what the ad had promised. I needed it now or the schizophrenia inducing virus I'd contracted in Albuquerque was going to shred my remaining sanity to bits. Bits I'd never put back together.

I sat there for 48 hours without moving a muscle until I passed out and hit the floor. the shit had worked but not in the way I expected. I was a wisp of air that was lighter than air my soul washed away into the ether. If I crawled out the rusted door of the factory and met the wrong people I was doomed to a life of unspeakable crimes. If I made it to my old high school library and found the Teacher still working there straightening the shelves I had a chance.

I found my pack and downed the half gallon of electrolyte water and ate a protein bar. I made my way downstairs past the piles of pigeon droppings and out to the street. The first thing I need is some sunglasses, this diamond shaped laser beam shooting out and through everything like a red hot knife through butter is fucking blinding me. I sighted down King St on the Masonic Temple and projected myself into the Egyptian Room on the 5th floor. From there I could see my old High School and projected onto the roof of the library. The rest of my story is ancient history, now retold in Annals of the 4th Psi War 5th edition.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Suicide Bomber Backbeat

90,000 Iraqi civilians dead I guess we got some payback for, whatever it was we thought they did to us, and here's a lighthearted music video by the folks we gave so much inspiration to. Bring that beat back! oh wait better not...

Monday, September 8, 2008

Venting , Raving, Panic Attack, I don't care what you call it

If Mcain /Palin gets elected I would support California's secession from the union by armed insurrection if necessary. I was going to propose putting Republicans in internment camps but there's too many of them here and California Republicans are more about keeping their money than about repressing freedoms so if they can be convinced there's a chance to make a profit they'll be co-opted. The gun nuts will also be down with fighting the feds so they can go straight to the front lines and start shooting those 50 caliber sniper rifles, because the bottom line is they just want a chance to kill somebody, anybody, and not have to go to jail for it. This would also be a good time to empty the prisons like Pelican Bay in exchange for 2 years service as suicide bombers. It's the christian religious conservatives that would have to be shoved across the Nevada border, along with the Scientologists and anyone whoever donated a dime to Lyndon Larouche. Wandering in the desert might be good for them and prepare all three groups for a rapture of their own choosing.

Our main industry will of course be weed and organic produce. We can buy whatever else we need from China in exchange for the homes of Hollywood Republicans.
OK that's about as far as I can get with that type of rant. If you motherfuckers elect Sarah Palin president all I can really do is pray like a snake handling baptist that you get what you deserve.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

in rudy's basement park fairfax

In between rehabs I was crashing in my childhood bedroom back in Alex. VA. Smoking weed on the DL and drinking beer when I could. Rudy Rodan would call me up and we'd smoke hash out of a meerschaum pipe and listen to Lee Scratch Perry. Rudy took Perry's lyrics literally unfortunately, and would proclaim to all and sundry that he was a "Black Jew". He was neither, he was however schizophrenic and spending more and more time in locked psych wards throughout Northern Virginia. In manic episodes he would try and walk to Richmond from DC and would be found incoherent on the side of the road. I remember his hands were clammy from the side effects of Haldol and the constant chain smoking of Marlboro reds.
We would ride around listening to GO GO and Old School Rap on KISS FM going to various spots to cop weed often without success. ( I believe I was supposed to be at 12 step meetings, forgive me Mom and Dad)If no cannabis could be found we would catch a buzz by scraping every used smoking device we could find until a pile of resin was produced and then smoked holding every nasty cloud of foul smoke deep in our lungs.
There are times when I miss that feeling of complete and utter aimlessness. I was just waiting to for the smoke to clear from my latest drug fueled disaster so I could go out and do it again. Rudy Rodan was waiting until he could stop taking his psych meds long enough to let his mind fly away again. We were brothers in this state, listening to Rastafarian chants hoping for a clue that would give us both meaning.
I'm not sure what happened to Rudy Rodan, last I saw him was on the porch of his Mom's new condo, smoking one cig after another, asking if he could come live with me in California. A tall white man with a strong southern accent, thick beard, shaved head, white oxford shirt, black jeans, doc martens, who would swear he was a member of the lost tribe of Israel. I'm sorry I lost touch brother, schizophrenia's just another word for nothing left to lose.

Monday, August 18, 2008

so wrong and yet so right

those are unreal tournament sounds not quake BTW

Saturday, August 2, 2008

sunset pancake hill


sunset pancake hill
Originally uploaded by johnny94110
the eastcoast is so green and full of old family friends that care about me very much, but I will miss the west soon I'm sure

Friday, August 1, 2008

back on the east coast

and it is another world that I no longer undrstand. We ate at a restaraunt in Concord NH called "The Common Man" apparrently it's become a chain of restarunts thats like a NH version of Crackerbarrell. They have free cheese and crackers with two dips and free chedar the dips one is an herb spread the other like thousand island mixed with cottage cheese. Then they bring you free "copper pennies" which are carrot slices in a sweet brine. The crabcakes were passable except for the rasberry aoli and a russian dressing shmear. the bathrooms have graffitti style quotations from famous new englanders and piped in audio of a woman with a thick NH accent telling the worlds worst jokes.

If I did'nt appreciate the absolutely effen fantastic food of the bay area I do now. Now i need a lobster roll. i'll add pics later, I cant look at them right now.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Flash Fiction Bingymon Style

I felt it that day I felt it all as I ran up the stairs two at a time. At the top of the third floor I spun a tight u-turn and skipped to the end of the hall . The keys were magically in my hand and I made the special half twist and shake with my hand to silently open the door. I was in the tunnel everything was fine. Shari saw me from the living room couch as I entered her bedroom.
"What the fuck are you doing here Wallace Beaver! I broke up with you a month ago! Get out Get out Get out! " her voice rose in pitch level straight to hysteria.
" I told you I was crazy baby, remember?" I calmly stated though chattering teeth as I pulled the top off a can of red spray paint.
I gave it six rapid speed shakes as my finger found the button on the top of the can and I focused on the beautiful expanse of white wall over her bed. These old buildings with their solid plaster walls heavy with the grime of generations, I love them so.
My arm swept up in a precise arc I could never repeat on purpose if I tried a million times and the can hissed as I liberated myself of the image burning on the inside of the front of my skull. It wasn't a bad word or anything about Shari, but I knew she would understand, I had explained all this on several occasions after I'd fucked her senseless. I'd repeated my mantra enough I'm sure that she could grasp my intention at least subliminally.
A perfect circle! I'd pulled it off in one move! There was a little side spray of paint on the tops of the giant pillow and stuffed animal pile but a little paint thinner would take care of that later, much later.
I reached in my messenger bag for the second can and felt something tugging at my arm and a loud rushing noise in my ear.
"Wallace! Wallace! WALLACE! I'M CALLING THE POLICE YOU SICK BASTARD!"
Shari's voice sounded as if it came from far far away like the galaxy in Star Wars. I had the blue can now and the details began to emerge , the delicate flowers and hearts that covered the skin of the sacred satyr that represented my love for Shari. It didn't matter that she had broken up with me I wasn't upset, but this work was unavoidable , a bullet train of intention that I myself had no power to stop. My feet felt numb my legs were shaking but I kept on, now the green!
I swung the can towards the wall, time for another perfect circle! But my arm jerked and my muscles spasmed and my arm would not rise it was trapped. I turned my head to the side and saw the reflection in the mirror over the dresser. The boys in blue! Two of them behind me holding my arms, they weren't worried, I wasn't worried, we were old friends.
"Wally, are you done now?"
"Yes sir, thank you."

Monday, July 14, 2008

the folly of youth

this made me feel better

Thursday, July 10, 2008

chest pain


my heart hurts and i know why
but i'm stuck here for the time being
knowing that is knowing something
doesn't really lessen the pain just makes it real
it's not enough to overwhelm me
no feeling ever will be
and still i want to run
because it's what i do best
damn
down rating myself isn't working either
i'll do what andrew t said so long ago
pray for the willingness to be willing
to accept
freedom through responsibility

Monday, July 7, 2008

twittering, is it real?

Twitter Updates
I am hungry and I must rest there is much to do in preparation for the autumn pig slaughter 3 minutes ago
i once wrote a poem called "sweating lifes blood in the grip of society's mindcrusher" i was 17 or thereabouts 6 minutes ago
i remember once i caught a magic fish that had a yellow tag for which i recieved a 50 dollar savings bond i later bought bad salmon stocks 11 minutes ago
in florence arizona state prison i used all my charm to get librium from the nurse 5 minutes later i was released all charges dropped 14 minutes ago
i was in jail in casa grande arizona with an inmate named betelgeuse if the guards said his name 3 times he went into a rage i was kicking 16 minutes ago

the gangster chronicles were a band of young hoodlums age 8-12 in Landover MD circa 1970 they merged with the crunchberry disciples you see from BeTwittered
johnnytoobad yea though i walk the valley of the shadow of death i shall fear no muttonchop wannabe or his petulant children from BeTwittered
johnnytoobad The author of the crashberry chronicles was an unknown poet from the upper eastside I channel his wisdom forthnnightly from txt
johnnytoobad Shoulda coulda woulda been a reggae superstar bingymon meets the rockers uptown inna dub roots style yes I from txt
johnnytoobad My house is the riggity wreckest its ever been the 4th will be a national day of cleaning at my crib from txt
johnnytoobad @ HenryRollins you're a long way from hagen daz in georgetown where I first saw you and Ian I thought you were marines gone awol from txt in reply to HenryRollins

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

More French Versions of Live Free or Die


















The French have got the spirit no wonder this phrase has been in my mind for so long.




Vivre libre ou mourir


Vivre libre ou mourir
Originally uploaded by GerryL
"French for "Live Free or Die" is inscribed on the centerpiece monument at the Pantheon in Paris"

Horace Andy "Spying Glass"


You live in the city

You mind your own business

What you see you don't see

But some people they always see

They never mind their own business


You move to the country

You live in the hills

You think you're far from the wicked

When you check it them a use spying glass

They want to know all your business


You live in the city

You stay by yourself

You avoid their company

Still some people are prying you out

Just because you are rasta

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Why I did it



Live Free or Die
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search
This article is about the state motto. For other uses, see Live Free or Die (disambiguation).
"Live Free or Die" is the official motto of the U.S. state of New Hampshire, adopted by the General Court in 1945. It is possibly the best-known of all state mottos, partly because it speaks to an aggressive independence inherent in American political philosophy and partly because of its contrast to the milder sentiments usually found in such mottos.
The phrase comes from a toast written by General John Stark on July 31, 1809. Poor health forced Stark, New Hampshire's most famous soldier of the American Revolutionary War, to decline an invitation to an anniversary reunion of the Battle of Bennington and to send his toast by letter:
"Live free or die: Death is not the worst of evils. "
It may have an earlier origin, as mentioned in Burke's 1758 The Annual Register of World Events: A Review of the Year, q.v. at google books.
The motto was enacted at the same time as the state emblem, on which it appears.


Thursday, June 5, 2008

Or Die 3-23-94


Or Die 3-23-94
Originally uploaded by johnny94110
the other side

Live Free


Live Free
Originally uploaded by johnny94110
new tattoo today 6/05/08

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

City Boy

This heart of darkness is mine bitch
Don’t you know little girl
You should be careful messing with a man like me
It’s a dirty cold city that I call me
Not meant for lovely things such as yourself
No one here is really sure what will happen next
Mean men lurk on the street corners at night
Trying not to do bad things
But not always winning the battle with glorious failure
So fucking pure
Now I’m back on street level
Comfortable as hell
Not meant for human consumption

Friday, May 30, 2008

the language of my voice

Only in reflection of what little I write do I get a clearer perspective on who I really am. Some themes keep popping up over and over.

Monday, May 26, 2008

nuff said


nuff said
Originally uploaded by johnny94110
I could use a little Pimp Juice right about now but I need to sleep too I guess

Will Kill for Junk


In someways he was very very tired but he was never really that tired as long as it was present, in his hand, in his ruck sack, or in his veins, especially in his veins. Through 14 foreign conflicts and the armies of four major European powers he had stayed high. It was the thing that made him different why he could lie in a hedge row in the rain with a sniper rifle for 3 days carefully controlling his timed injections of Dexedrine and morphine so he was always awake feeling no pain but never nodding. In the nod he might miss his target and making the shot was only thing that made him feel anything real if only in that brief instant of the muzzle flash and the vaporizing blood cloud around the exploding head of his intended.

His record of confirmed kills (and the whispered rumors of twice as many unconfirmed) kept the brass from wondering why he was in the infirmary getting opiates for a spinal cord injury that never showed up on xray or slowed him down in brutal training exercises. When he began freelancing for the intelligence services was when the blinds on his secret addiction were lifted and he was offered whatever opiate he wanted (pharmaceuticals were recommended as they were easily explained on expense reports) as long as the job got done his reputation preceded him and he was never without IT. Some thought they could control him with it but being forced to seek it on his own only whetted his appetite. He knew where to cop in any country on earth.

Why was he still here? Why stick around on this earth causing mayhem and death with his only purpose to stay loaded and kill the men he was sent to kill? He was waiting for a call, and one day that call came.

"Mr, Louis?"

"Who's calling?"

" We have completed the final test on the machine, we can reach the date in question, your target is John Wilkes Booth"

"Is this line secure?"

"It won't matter if you complete your assignment."

" I guess you're right. I'm on my way"


Thursday, May 15, 2008

burritos al pastor epiphany

taco trucks rule over all

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

I like sunsets


I like sunsets
Originally uploaded by johnny94110

Friday, May 9, 2008

Padded Window Punch

Cold foggy night in the Mission, Folsom and 20Th. Mark's brother keeps walking around the first floor flat of the old Victorian punching his hand and cursing. Psyching himself up for something I'm not sure what. Grey bushy hair in a classic Manson mane frames his angry face. He's the one who keeps asking who we are and if we're cool. Mark keeps reminding him that Running Bear is the guy who did his tattoos. Mark is bouncing around the apartment too rubbing his back and telling Bear that his back always aches when he's coming down. I run out for a couple 40's of Rainier Ale. We kicked in on some beans and tacos that Mark's toothless girlfriend is cooking up in the kitchen rapping to herself or any of us that wander in there. Mark has that classic biker metal head look motorcycle jacket black jeans and boots, black greasy hair that is pasted to his face because he's sweating alot. He and Bear are telling stories about people I don't know and I'm drinking as much malt liquor as it's polite to do without taking too much and I'm getting buzzed because my stomach is empty. I think we smoked some cheap "bama" weed too. I was wondering if we were going to do some speed but first we sit down to dinner like civilised folk. I was wondering if I wanted to do any speed and knew that if it came out I wouldn't be able to resist even though I hated it. I was in that frame of mind. Eating together was weirdly bonding and I was laughing and thinking these people were pretty cool and they lived around the corner so maybe we could be friends of a sort even though they were tweakers and I was into hop. My stomach was having a bad reaction to the canned re fried beans though, jumping and gurgling something fierce. Lately I'd been resisting and had only broken down and copped a couple times in the past month.Getting high on heroin in a house that was a daycare center during the day was a big no no and I felt pretty fucking shitty about it. But being broke and out of work will put you in that "I'll do any thing if it's free" mode and so chances were I was going to get some speed if I hung out, but these guys probably shot it and I didn't want to deal with using their works. Plus I really didn't like speed but there I was.
After dinner Marks brother got ready to go out and put on a big old navy pea coat and a black wool hat. His right hand had some kind of padding taped to it and he was slamming it into his left palm harder and harder. I finally figured out he was going out to punch car windows and snag car stereos or whatever else he could get. From what I gathered Mark was not going to kick down any speed to his brother for free so he was going out to make his own luck and therefore partake of the bounty of his brothers methamphetamine supply. I also figured out that I was probably not going to get any free speed either and decided to head home rather than hang out looking like a typical drug leech. I can't remember if Running Bear got high with that guy that night I think that although he talked like he was a big time meth dealer that really he was out of dope too and his brother was working to feed the whole houses habit. Marks brother had been grey haired but he was buff and scary and on parole. For the next ten years I saw him pushing a shopping cart around the Mission, looking worse and worse, muttering to himself and the knuckles of his right hand were always padded and at the ready. I was glad I didn't get high with those guys, and soon after I never high again on something I didn't want to do.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Wow, Guess What? Turns Out We Are A Bunch of Racist Fucktards

Have I been in the bubble of a blue state too long? I drank the Kool Aid (why isn't anyone protesting this reference to the Jonestown Massacre, we in the Bay Area should know better) after watching Obama's speeches early this year. He got me he really did and still does. I actually feel inspired to maybe get off my lazy ass and work for his campaign, starting with a bumper sticker and another 5 dollar donation. Unfortunately,(and god knows I, like a bunch of folks white, black and whatever, should have had a clue as to how bad it was going to be)we are still a nation full of racist bastards.
Calling the man a Muslim is the least of his problems. If he hasn't been filled full of sniper rounds (please God do forbid this)he'll have a couple of trumped up rape charges and thousands of illegitimate crack addicted children on his neo con rap sheet by October at the latest. That's if the Clintons haven't stolen the nomination with moves (given freely) from the Karl Rove playbook. The Clintons now have soiled their legacy so badly that it is irreparable. The worst kind of racist to me is one who mouths anti-racist statements but takes racist action on the other. Calling a black American elitist is a hard sell but they did it.